Two tons of bravery

If your quality as a person is determined by how you treat other people, then the way you drive can also determine your quality as a person. Yes, just as with the poopie bags I left in a neighbor's backyard, I have lowered my quality with my conduct as a driver. I have had two tickets in my career as a driver, and both came when I deserved them most. I will get to those wonderful moments later, but right now I will talk about my tendencies as a driver and how they affect my view of my micro morals.

I like to think of myself as a passive aggressive driver. I don't tailgate, yell obscenities, make hand gestures, or use my horn unless I feel a direct threat from an inattentive driver. But I do find a special pleasure in subtle actions to aggravate drivers that bother me. If someone is driving especially aggressively, I will slow down next to another car so they can't pass me. If someone tailgates me on the interstate while I am in the left lane, I refuse to move out of the way. I know I should be a better person and just let it go, but that is easier said than done.

I am certainly guilty of moments of road rage, but there are two moments that stand out in my mind. The first one was on a boring stretch of corn lined interstate that was being repaired. The construction was intermittent, so in the middle of all the one lane restrictions there were short sections of two lane freedom. I was stuck behind an old blue farm truck that was going forty miles per hour. I am okay with people going slow in construction zones, but going less than the speed limit was getting on my nerves. We came up to the first open section of two lane road and the truck didn't move to the right lane. By the time I realized he wasn't getting over it was too late for me to get around. So five more miles of forty mph was my punishment. Five miles for me to get more angry. So at the next open section I tried to pass the old truck on the right, but he sped up. I couldn't pass him. And needless to say he slowed to forty again once I was forced to get behind him for the next stretch of construction. Seven miles of irritation this time--seven slow miles. In the next open section, we did the same dance, but this time I was determined so I accelerated immediately and was at eighty five mph by the time I realized that I was going to make it past him. I looked over to see the two men in the old blue truck smiling at me. What are you smiling at? I turned back to see a state cop on the shoulder. He flicked his lights and I pulled over in front of him.

The next moment was worse. I was driving on a city road at night and the speed limit was 30 mph. I was going through an intersection on a green light and a little red car turned right in front of me. I hit the brakes and honked, and then proceeded to tailgage the little red car until it turned off the road, but then I got stuck behind a white Ford Tempo that was going 17 mph. I was still a little mad and tailgated this person until I couldn't take it anymore and passed it. I immediately saw the lights. The cop told me that I must have scared the little old lady in the tempo almost to death. I wasn't in the mood for the self righteousness. "Did you see the red car pull out in front of me?"

"That is the ticket I am letting go with a warning."
"Really, so I am getting more than one?"
"One for following too closely, and another for going forty-five in the thirty."
"Thanks for the leniency."
"I would be happy to give you that third ticket if you want to keep talking."

Why are we so mean in the car? Do we feel insulated by the two tons of steel? If that is the case, the car is a special test for micro morals. If I treat people worse in the car than I do face to face, then the real me must be in the car. It is in the car that I feel free to do things without social judgement. The car is a surrogate for social interaction. It is safer for me to act out of anger and other emotions. Have you ever cut someone off, only to see it was someone you know? How did you feel? Did you apologize?

Sidewalks are for walking

This blog is really about selfishness, and the thousands of selfish things that we do on a daily basis. Selfishness is necessary to our survival, but we have a screwed up understanding of what benefits us individually and collectively. I don't know if that comes from greed, capitalism, or an immature view of the world, but the issue is the key to morality and how it is developed. Look at the ten commandments--they work because they make sense. They work in the same way that dogs know not to poop in an enclosed space. It is about survival. You don't sleep with your neighbor's wife because it is essentially pooping in your own backyard. Yes, selfishness can get you the nice parking spot, but at whose expense? And will that person remember?

When we decide to do something for selfish reasons, we have to remember that if we hurt the people who are close to us, physically or spiritually, we damage our chances for good things to happen to us. Call it Karma or Morality, it doesn't really matter. Micro morals may seem small in reference to adultery, pride, gluttony, and the rest, but I assure you that if you practice unselfishness, then those larger morals will be easy to keep.

An easy example of this is where you park. We all would love to park our cars as close to our homes as possible, but who are we hurting when we do? People choose to live in neighborhoods for all kinds of reasons, but many of us like to believe that the outdoors around our homes are as important as the square footage, and the way that we experience the neighborhood is through the sidewalks. But in many neighborhoods people park their cars on the at the end of their driveways over the sidewalks. At the very minimum, this is an inconvenience, but if these cars are forcing kids to walk on the street, it can be very dangerous. Needless to say, it pisses me off. I have considered letting my dogs collar scratch the paint on these cars or maybe bumping my kids' wagon into it. Whatever you have to do to keep from parking your car on a sidewalk is a kindness that may go unnoticed, but that makes it a grand one.

Its a Urinal, not a trash can

All the ladies can either skip this entry, or try to imagine what a men's public restroom is like. It is just like a ladies room, but it doesn't have a sitting room with a sofa and tables to chat while your friends are peeing. The men's room gets its charm from the urinals and the inevitable puddles of pee underneath. I am sure we all have stories of gross things that we have encountered in a public restroom, but I am going to talk about one that bothers me and falls under the jurisdiction of micro morals. I have been in many a stall doing number 2 and realized that there was no toilet paper, but I have never been in a public restroom that was missing a trash can. Yet, there always seems to be some random wad of gum, cigarette butt, sunflower seed, condom, or tooth pick sitting on the plastic urinal cake holder in the urinal.

The only thing more gross than a puddle of pee on the floor of a men's restroom is something actually soaking in the collective urine of hundreds of random people. If someone has chosen to be the person responsible for keeping a public restroom clean, then I am guessing that there are a lot of things in that person's life that might be difficult. The rest of us, who don't have to clean public restrooms, don't need to add to the difficulties in this person's life by spitting something into the urinal that they have to clean. If you are standing at a urinal, I can guarantee that there is a trash can within ten feet of you. Wait until you are done and walk to the trash can and dispose of your garbage there, and then thank whatever higher power you believe in for not making you clean puddles of pee under urinals.