Last Bastion of Littering

We live in a time in our country where few things are agreed upon, and one of those things is litter. There aren't many places where it is acceptable to toss your garbage on the ground. Sure you see the occasional fast food cup or hamburger wrapper in the median of the interstate or gum under a railing, but there really is only one form of littering that you find everywhere and you can even see people doing without any social approbation. Cigarette Butts. Did I miss the announcement that cigarette butts are a good fertilizer, or that birds need them for their recommended daily intake of fiber? I know that cigarettes and smokers have been an easy target lately--smokers have lost their ability to smoke most places, and big tobacco was the government's go to scapegoat long before wall street and British Petroleum, but the flicking, stamping, dropping, and stubbing of the lovely filters of cigarettes all over the place is getting to be too much.

I challenge you to find a parking lot that isn't peppered with cigarette butts, or drive in the slightest bit of traffic and not see one of your fellow drivers flick a butt out of a cracked window. Where is the disconnect? I don't understand what tells people to throw their empty pop cans into a recycle bin and then flick their cigarette butts wherever they please. I was recently on a beach in Florida and my daughters and I were building sand castles. We didn't find any tar balls, but we did find a few cigarette butts. This is a major micro moral. I would feel bad if I thought that I were asking a lot, but if there are enough trash cans to keep people from dropping their candy wrappers everywhere then there are enough trash cans to collect all the cigarette butts too.

Right of Way

My first true post of a micro moral is a simple one: Walk on the right side. This applies to sidewalks, stairwells, and doorways. This may seem small or unimportant or even petty, and the last thing I want is to sound like some busy body from your neighborhood who calls the cops every time you drive past his house a little too fast. But life is easier for all of us when we know what to expect. Ever go in for a hand shake and get surprised by a hug? Go in for a hug with your aunt and get surprised by a kiss? How many times do you walk into a door only to be surprised by someone trying to come out. Was it your fault? How do you know?

You know it was your fault because you walked through the left side didn't you. I know that sometimes it is easier to walk through the left side. Maybe someone has just walked through and it hasn't closed yet, or they even seem to be holding it open for you, but you step in only to have an awkward dance with someone who has the right of way. Ultimately, it is your fault and your motivation was selfish. Should you go to jail or be stoned to death? Of course not. But the social awkwardness is entirely the fault of the person who ignored the rules. I can't pretend to say that I have never walked through the left door, but now I have two children and navigating doorways is hard enough without impatient people barreling through the wrong side. Making a commitment to small gestures of kindness that may never be noticed is the height of morality and what micro moralism is all about.

There are more obvious forms selfishness in the battles of right of way. Lovely people who walk in pairs down a sidewalk and don't break formation when your are walking in the other direction. These people are saying that they are more important than you. That is the only logical explanation. What is worse? Stepping behind your walking partner for a second while someone passes, or having to step into the grass or something else. I am proud to say that I have never been this selfish, but it does make me angry. Maybe more angry than I should be, but to me this is the epitome of someone who can parade great Macro Morals around and never lie, cheat, steal, have promiscuous sex, contemplate abortion, but in these smaller actions they show their true selves. They show themselves to be selfish and only moral when people are watching or when the issue is important enough for people to care.

Social Criticism without Judgement

The title of my new blog is The Micro Moralist, and the hope is that a title accurately describes the issues that will be written about. Just in case the title doesn't do that, here is a brief explanation of my motivations and what you can expect from this blog.

The moralist part of the title might seem self explanatory, but I will not be going anywhere near the moral issues that most people argue about on a daily basis, nor do I claim to be some holier than thou preacher of all things good and virtuous. If you are looking for someone to reinforce your already held beliefs about these issues, then you have clicked on the wrong link. The key to the title is actually the word Micro. Where Moralists might busy themselves with issues of sexuality, abortion, violence, cloning etc... a Micro Moralist, like myself, will be dealing with issues of littering, cutting in line, saving seats, honking, and basically most things that we deal with in social interactions on a daily basis. So why the moralist? Why not something that more accurately describes the gravity or weight of what I am talking about? Precisely because I believe that these smaller issues of daily social interaction are just as important, if not more important that a person's views on abortion, sexuality or even religion. As controversial as these issues are, it is rare that any of us are actually faced with anything near the weight of these Moral choices.

Micro Moralism deals with who you are in every moment of your day based on all the choices you make. Are you selfish? Are you a good person? How do you know? Others might have a more accurate view you in this regard, but if you read my blog on a daily basis, I hope to help you answer these questions. Some of these blogs might be funny, while others may be more serious. I also hope to show that I am not going to be writing about these things from above, but from the very level that all of us inhabit. Today I will tell a story of something I did that made me feel like a bad person, and rightfully so.

Pooper Scooper doofus

This happened when I was walking my dog about seven years ago. We didn't have kids at the time and I walked him way more than I do now. I also took him for much longer walks. On this particular walk, as with most walks, he pooped three times very early in a long walk and I did my duty and picked it up in the little black plastic bags and tied them up. In our apartment complex there were these convenient little trash cans for dog poop, but I was well out of our neighborhood carrying these hot and smelly little bags of poop and I couldn't find a trash can anywhere. I was getting tired of carrying them, and I wish that I could say that when I dropped them behind some bushes in someone's yard that my plan was to pick them up on the way back. Unfortunately, I never had the chance. The owner of the house happened to see my offense and asked what I thought I was doing. My embarrassment precluded any explanations, mainly because I had none, being that I was hoping to be free of those bags. So I apologized, picked up the bags and walked away.

Why did I do it? Because I was thinking only of my discomfort and placing my minor needs above the needs someone I didn't know. I also obviously didn't think anyone was watching, and my risk of being caught or punished was small. Where does that offense rank in the world of crime? Pretty low I guess, but seven years later, I still feel bad. And when someone asks the cliched question of who are we when nobody is looking, I can't help but remember that moment. I was willing to literally toss crap into somebody's backyard because I didn't think anybody was watching. So, by that standard, I am a crap tosser, that's who I am when nobody is watching. I don't just drop a gum wrapper or flick a cigarette butt, I leave hot stinking bags of dog feces in unsuspecting people's back yards. I would like to think that I am still a good person, but does a good person do that? I am pretty sure that if you perused 100 lists of things that make you a good person, that littering poop bags isn't on any of those lists. And I am almost positive that the person who caught me trying to hide those bags behind her bushes doesn't think of me as a good person. The only thing I can do is try to learn from my mistake. So If you ever catch me being overly judgemental in one of my blogs, just remind me that I am a selfish crap tosser.

Should I start my blog this way? I am not sure, but for this journey to be successful, there must be tough self examination. Ask yourself what you have done when you thought that noone was watching or when you thought you wouldn't be punished.